Post by -(aaK)- Pascalsys on May 6, 2004 18:24:32 GMT
Yet another cut and paste email
Subject: Fwd: MARRIAGE
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
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Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. "Be careful," He said to his wife. "You will bring out the animal in me."....
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse!!"
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The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home. He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling: "CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!" The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?" The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."
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A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and said ..what..??
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People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So, Satan walked up to the old man and said."Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do. "
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man,
in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?
"The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."
Subject: Fwd: MARRIAGE
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
--------------------------------------------
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
--------------------------------------------
Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. "Be careful," He said to his wife. "You will bring out the animal in me."....
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse!!"
--------------------------------------------
The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home. He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling: "CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!" The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?" The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."
--------------------------------------------
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and said ..what..??
--------------------------------------------
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So, Satan walked up to the old man and said."Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do. "
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man,
in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?
"The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."
