joke

[-(aaK)- FD Exterminator]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

[KT]

HAHAHA!!! That is actually pretty funny. =P

[-(aaK)- FD Exterminator]

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

[-(aaK)- FD Exterminator]

What row of numbers comes next?

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221

[-(aaK)- Deltz]

I was on a plane when the pilot comes on the intercom and says


"Please fasten your seat belts ladies and gentlemen and be ready for take off"


but forgetting to turn off the intercom he turns to the co-pilot and says


"You know what i could do with right now?"


"Whats that?" he replies.......


"A cup of coffee and a blow job".......


.....next to me the stewardess is running to tell him


and the guy behind me shouts to her...........


"hey love don't forget his coffee"


;D ;D ;D ;D

aaaaah gonna get grilled for this one ;D ;D ;D






Edit: Keep it tasteful. =P

[-(aaK)- Neil Faz]

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."


Well,, i thought it was funny

[-(aaK)- zZzTheAngel]

Some of those are actually really funny.

But exterminator TELL me the anwser to riddle. I hate them i can never get them they are evil! I move that all riddles be banned from these forums!!!!!!

[Buzz]

Ex I take it the next row would be...

999



lock that riddling scouse git up

[Icarion]

A guy rushes into his vet's surgery with his dog, and asks to see the vet urgently cos he thinks his dog is dead. So the vet comes out and has a look at the dog, and says
"Yes, I'm sorry but you're right, your dog IS dead"

But the man isn't too happy about this, and asks for a second opinion, so the vet goes into another room and brings out a big black Labrador. The labrador sniffs round the man's dog, then looks at the vet and shakes its head. So the very says
"I'm sorry, but the labrador thinks your dog is dead too"

But the man still isn't happy, and wants another opinion, so the vet brings out a cat, and the cat sniffs the man's dog and also shakes its head. So the man finally agrees that his dog definitely is dead, and asks the vet what the bill will come to.
" That will be £8,000 please" says the vet
"£8000! just to tell me that my dog is dead?!" says the man
So the vet replies: "Well, it would have only been £50, but the rest of it was for the lab test and the CAT scan."



Edit: just changed the end line, you typed "very" instead of "vet", sorry to be picky ~KT

[-(aaK)- zZzTheAngel]

LOL very funny icarion.
Buzz why would it be 999?
Ex hurry up and tell us?

[KT]

-(aaK)- said:

A guy rushes into his vet's surgery with his dog, and asks to see the vet urgently cos he thinks his dog is dead. So the vet comes out and has a look at the dog, and says
"Yes, I'm sorry but you're right, your dog IS dead"

But the man isn't too happy about this, and asks for a second opinion, so the vet goes into another room and brings out a big black Labrador. The labrador sniffs round the man's dog, then looks at the vet and shakes its head. So the very says
"I'm sorry, but the labrador thinks your dog is dead too"

But the man still isn't happy, and wants another opinion, so the vet brings out a cat, and the cat sniffs the man's dog and also shakes its head. So the man finally agrees that his dog definitely is dead, and asks the vet what the bill will come to.
" That will be £8,000 please" says the vet
"£8000! just to tell me that my dog is dead?!" says the man
So the vet replies: "Well, it would have only been £50, but the rest of it was for the lab test and the CAT scan."

BEST JOKE YET!!!

[-(aaK)- ICE]

I know the answer to the riddle yay!

[-(aaK)- zZzTheAngel]

THEN TELL ME BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!!!!!!! I HATE RIDDLES! SO SOMEONE TELL ME THE ANSWER AND EXPLAIN IT TO ME NOW BEFORE I SAY SOMETHING THAT GETS ME IN TROUBLE

[-(aaK)- zZzTheAngel]

I know a great joke

Tony Blair

[TimeRacer]

Got the answer to Ex's riddle....am selling for £5